Congratulations! You are the proud owner of Advanced Persistent Threat!
- Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Advanced Persistent Threat.
- Caution: Advanced Persistent Threat may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
- Advanced Persistent Threat contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
- Do not use Advanced Persistent Threat on concrete.
- Discontinue use of Advanced Persistent Threat if any of the following occurs:
- itching
- vertigo
- dizziness
- tingling in extremities
- loss of balance or coordination
- slurred speech
- temporary blindness
- profuse sweating
- heart palpitations
- If Advanced Persistent Threat begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
- Advanced Persistent Threat may stick to certain types of skin.
- When not in use, Advanced Persistent Threat should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Advanced Persistent Threat, and its parent company of any and all liability.
- Ingredients of Advanced Persistent Threat include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
- Advanced Persistent Threat has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
- Do not taunt Advanced Persistent Threat.
- Advanced Persistent Threat comes with a lifetime warranty (approximately three days).
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